The Book of Dave by Will Self
Book Group May 2007
What the blurb says
What if a demented London cabbie called Dave Rudman wrote a book to his estranged son to give him some fatherly advice?
What if that book was buried in Hampstead and hundreds of years later, when rising sea levels have put London underwater, spawn a religion?
What if one man decided to question life according to Dave? And what if Dave had indeed made a mistake?
Shuttling between the recent past and a far-off future where England is terribly altered, The Book of Dave is a strange and troubling mirror held up to our times: disturbing, satirising and vilifying who and what we think we are.
Dave is indeed demented. His demons are the jealousy and bile he holds for his ex- wife and her partner, the confused feelings towards his son Carl, whom he possessively loves but isn't a great dad to, the recreational and prescription drugs he consumes, his job and the fares he despises, but mostly feelings of inadequacy toward himself, juxtaposed with megalomania . The book of fatherly advice he writes for his estranged son, is a guide for living. Living as Dave thinks it should be - only Dave's view is warped, not to mention mysigonistic and racist . Mummies and Daddies should stay apart, children should divide their time exactly in half between each. Mummies aren't really good for much apart from child birth in Dave view, its dads that hold the power, prestige and respect.
Shuttle forth to Ham (A.D 500ish), a small island at the edge of the Kingdom of Ing, a country where The Book of Dave forms the sacred texts of the religion. Life is hard for all the islands occupants, but the women are at the bottom of the heap. Initially remoteness from the seat of power allows the 'Hamsters' a less strict following of the doctrine, but the coming of Symun Devush 'the Geezer' starts to change that. The geezer claims to have found a new testament in which Dave admitted the mistakes of the first book and laid down some new better, fairer laws, this heresy brings about his exile for "flying" offences and brings the gaze of the church upon the community. A Driver (priest) is dispatched to keep the Hamsters in check. Scroll forward a bit more and Carl, Symun's son, is growing up without a dad, but with some of his inquisitive traits. He soon pals up with Anote Bom, an exiled flyer who has been scentenced to practice medicne and teach the youngsters on Ham. As the boy grows trouble brews and they escape to the mainland in a quest to find Carls mythic father, and the source of his brave new ideas.
The use of religion and power to oppress and control the people of Ing, is reminiscent of many of the worlds religions are practised, especially in the treatment of women. But is this Daves fault? religions fault? or the fault of the people who wield the power? After all like Carl concludes "He needed no intercom to tell him this: that if it hadn't been Dave who so blighted the world, it would have been some other god - Jeebus or Joey or Ali - with his own savage edicts" People aren't cruel because of religion, religion is cruel because of people.
Its open to interpretation if Ham is real, or a figment of Dave's imagination as it works through its problems. I favour the later view, that Ham resides in a quite corner of Dave's brain; test running some of his ideas, visualising the reality, deciding that it aint all that good, then finding solutions to the obvious problems, these answers then feed back into Dave, and he becomes a nicer person.
The Book of Dave isn't an easy read. The 'mockni' slang of the Hamsters, and the re-dux of language in the alternate world (think the broad accents of Trainspotting with the new language of A Clockwork Orange) slows the reader down, almost painfully so, until you get the hang of it. Themes of hate, isolation, violence and loss make the journey dark and brutal, and its not glamourous or stylish brutality, more the grubby kind that leaves you feeling like showering in jays fluid. It took me until about half way through to settle in to the book and a degree of perseverance to get that far. Although not an easy journey it is a rewarding one and the pay-back does come in the end, although not with happy neat all wrapped up ending, more with the idea of progress and the beginings of understanding.
A Bad Week, Part Two
or why you shouldn't stop for lunch
Getting beat in the elections and hence being made redundant (See A Bad Week, Part One) made me glad I had already arranged a get away from it all weekend on the Isle of Rum with the girls.
Rum, the largest of the Small Isles, is located off the west coast of Scotland. It is reached by a ferry ride from Mallaig. Rum is famous for its midges, red deer, manx shearwaters, sea eagels and the Rum Cuillin. We planned to walk the Cuillin and hoped to see all but the midges.
The road trip was passed sleeping, bar a stop at the Real food cafe in Tyndrum for supper. Conversely the night was passed doing the first night in a tent thing; not really sleeping. With a 6.30 start we caught the 7.30 ferry across to the island. On arrival we pitched the tents and unloaded the stuff we wouldn't need until our return and set out. We intended to head out over the Rum Cuillin, spend the night at the Dibidil bothy and walk back to the campsite the next day.
Looking up to Hallival from near Kinloch
The Rum Cuillin is comprised of 5 tops; Hallival, Askival, Trallval, Ainshval and Sgurr nan Gillean. Two of these have Corbett status, Askival at 812m and Ainshval at 781m. When we left Kinloch it was t-shirt weather, by the time we approached the Bealach Bairc-mheall, about half way up Hallival the wind was knocking us off our feet and we were under cloud. It didn't take us long to decide that backing off was our preferred option. Narrow ridges, scrambling, overnight packs and high winds don't make a great combination. Possible, but not really enjoyable.
We drew up plan B - cut across country until we reached the path, then walk out around the coast to Dibidil, spend the night at the bothy, then if the weather improved dramatically tackle the ridge from the other end, if not walk back round the coast. We didn't hold out much hope with the weather as Sunday was forecast for worse than Saturday, but it was an amenable plan.
The walk out to Dibidil was pretty easy going. Riots of primroses along with Orchids and Milkworts provided ample distractions. The climber in me's interest was pricked by a reasonably sized crag and a boulder field near the Allt na h-Uamha and the sea stack, Stac nam Faoileann. As we rounded the corner into Glen Dibidil we spotted red deer, blending with the surrundings. Further along the bothy Dibidil came into view, nestling below the slopes of Sgurr nan Gillean as they towered up into the clouds.
When we arrived at the bothy we found a group inside, taking some shelter from the weather. They had stopped off to commemorate the recent death of a friend in an accident crossing the stream we had just some over. Being back in the area had obviously brought emotions back and they seemed a little shocked. As they set off back to the village the rain started.
As the evening wore on two more groups arrived to share the bothy for the night, the first arrivals didn't like the look of sharing with 3 girls, and took the other room. The later arrivals, Chris and Callum, weren't fussy, and opted to join us. My First night in a bothy was a pretty positive experience, warm enough and comfy nestled in part of the room that was partitioned with a parachute. A leisurely start the next day, along with an unpromising weather outlook, put paid to plans for a reverse ascent of the ridge. Getting on for 11am we set off back round the coastal path.
Taking it easy we stopped to chat to other walkers, and of course take photos of the nature. The weather got a bit wilder with showers of rain and hail moving through on a rather brisk wind. We carried on in the hopes of finding somewhere sheltered to stop for lunch. Eventually we found a hollow that afforded some shelter and grabbed a seat. Fiona had just nipped round the corner for a comfort break when Manda started fitting and what looked like pointing at her throat. My initial thought was choking. Things moved pretty fast; Manda turned blue round the lips, was frothing blood, and wasn't fully consious. I remember clearly thinking fuck i hope she doesn't die. Although still at a loss for what was wrong It became apparent it wasn't choking. We got her in to the recovery position as best we could on a 45degree slope.
After what seemed ages she started to stabilise, her breathing was ok, and the blood-loss wasn't significant (she had bitten through her tongue), but worryingly her speech was severely affected and she was very disorientated; a stroke maybe? Fiona got the job of calling 999, and did a good job of providing them with grid reference and details. Approximately 2 hours later the helicopter arrived. In the intervening time we had tried to keep our patient warm and calm. The helicopter had trouble recovering her in the high and gusty winds, but eventually managed to find a landing spot up the hill. We had just started to try and move towards the helicopter her when the local coast guard arrived on foot with a stretcher and assisted with the carrying.
After the helicopters departure, we were escorted back to the village by the volunteer coastguard, and kindly fed hot tea and biscuits in the castle. After an emotional roller-coaster it was strange to still be on the island. I felt like going home, but we couldn't leave until the following afternoons ferry. We kept busy by going for a few strolls, taking some pictures and taking a tour of the castle. In a way that sounds a little heartless, but it made the waiting pass and there wasn't really out else to do. We had been in contact with the outside world and received news of our friend; still in intensive care, but doing well. Immediate concerns for Mandas health lessened, but longer term concerns took over.
The weekends escape didn't really offer much ease or time for head clearing, and its taken a few weeks to feel back to normal after a mental few weeks.
Glasgow Women's 10k, 2007
13th May 2007
Last year the Glasgow Women's 10k was my first race, which I completed in a time of 00:58:53, finishing in 3993rd place. I have set my self a goal of running a 10k in 55 minutes.
Preparation had been going well, which for me mean that I was managing to get out running at least twice a week. Unfortunately in the last few weeks this has all gone to pot and I haven't manage to run at all. (in fact since writing this...). Last year the number of walkers on the course was quite annoying so this year I entered the 50-54 minute category instead of the 55-60, in the hope that there would be less 'obstacles' on the course. Now I was begining to doubt this logic as I knew I wouldn't be near my target time.
Conditions were pretty much perfect, overcast, cool and a light breeze. Mike escorted me, provided moral and organisational support, and took photos of girls running. New for this year, and much appreciated, was a free bus link, from just outside Queen Street Station to the start of the race. In another improvement on last year, the trains were running between Edinburgh & Glasgow.
The race is well organised, with a colour coded pulsed start and two water stations, at 4k and 6k. The sound of the pipers playing at the kilometer markers drifts back and lets you know that that's nearly another one gone and the Glaswegians provide vocal support from the roadside.
I started off pretty well, although quite nervy. The last 3rd felt quite hard, but I was able to speed up for the finish.
| km | Split | Cumulative Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 5:28 | 05:28 |
| 2 | 5:38 | 11:06 |
| 3 | 5:37 | 16:44 |
| 4 | 5:44 | 22.29 |
| 5 | 6:12 | 28:44 |
| 6 | 5:25 | 34:07 |
| 7 | 6:02 | 40:10 |
| 8 | 6:08 | 46:18 |
| 9 | 5:40 | 51:59 |
| 10 | 5:56 | 57:55 |
An unofficial time of 00:57:55 - a minute up on last time, but 3 minutes away from the Goal of 00:55:00. Overall I'm pleased with the improvement and glad to be under an hour, but aware that I'm still some way to go to acheive my goal. (update: my official time was 57:52 - I'll take that!)
Me, Done!
The race was won by Kenyan, Vivien Cheruiyot in a time of 32:08; I figure if you can do it less than double the time of the elite athletes then you are doing OK. At the less hasty end of the results list about 30 runners took over 2 hours to complete the course.
A Bad Week, Part One
or a week's a long time in politics
The observant will have noticed that last Thursday (3rd May) was election day in Scotland. Being a Green this meant lot of campaigning in the run up, followed by lots of staying awake and nerves for the count, followed by disappointment and hysteria and a little bit of elation at the results.
The week before the Election kicked off proper with placarding. Edinburgh's by-laws mean no placarding until the Saturday before the election; in practice this means midnight on the Friday. Step ladders and 200 placards in hand we set off to cover Haymarket and Lothian Road. Also out were the Lib Dems, and out in force were the SNP's hired hands. We eventually got finished at 3am, after a few run ins with the usual occupants of Lothian Road. Other Jobs during the week included reupholstering sandwich boards, more placarding and street stalls and of course delivering the eve of poll cards. The mood was optimistic, feed back on the street was positive and the environment has never been getting more attention. We hoped to get councillors and increase the number of Green MSPs.
Election Day itself was a 6am start to drop of sandwich boards outside polling stations, ready for opening at 7am. Then it was time to vote; super keen I was in the polling station at 7.30am. The polling station attendants were very keen to make sure i knew how to use the ballot papers, but rest assured I was well briefed.
Then its just a case of waiting until the polls close at 10pm.
The count was held at Ingleston show-ground in a massive hall. We arrived at about midnight. As counting agents our job was to oversee the count and make sure that the counters were doing the right thing. In days of old when the ballots were counted by hand, it was possible to see which Voting Stations and ballot box votes were coming from. From this political partys could build up information about their vote, and have a good idea how they were getting on as the count progressed. This year is the first year that there has been electronic counting in Scotland, so things were a little diffrent.
The job of election agents this time was to watch the screens for the manual inputs, these are ballots that can't be read electronically. Mostly these 'mis-reads' were just bad hand writing. So the staff say ' vote by Anne Other' or '2 by Joe Bloggs' and the election agents from the parties say 'yes we agree'. In reality most of the manual inputs are fairly uncontentious. When a ballot that can not be agreed on comes up it then gets deferred for adjudication. These ballots might contain more than 1 cross in a column, contain crosses where there should be numbers, or contain duplicates of a number. There is then a further adjudication stage, and it here that things can get heated as the parties argue for votes. Typically the most common mistake in the both Holyrood and local government elections was putting more than one cross.
So lots of stood looking at screens and saying yes really...
5am dawned and the Retuning officer made an announcement that due to software problems they were only going to be able to announce 2 of the constituency results; as the list result depends on all the constituency results we decided to head home and return the next day for the noon restart. I was cheered to find that Sarah Boyak retained Edinburgh Central, beating Shioban Mathers (see Misrepresentation or Manipulation for Why). The situation was mirrored across the country, with most regions having a at least one result outstanding, so the lists remained undeclared. Not knowing is quite emotionally taxing.
So back to Ingleston at midday. Returning to the hall it felt like we hadn't been away. The light was the same, the temperature was the same, the people were the same, and we were at the same level of tiredness. The count resumed and so did the standing in front of screens. As more results were announced it became clear that the greens had taken heavy losses across the country. It was 5pm before we started to get any results. We heard unofficially that Robin Harper had been returned but that we had lost Mark Ballard as an MSP. It was a mark of how worried we all were that this news was treated with relief rather than disappointment. We also began to hear news that other Greens hadn't been returned. The final result; just 2 Green MSPs, Robin and Patrick Harvie. Quite a blow politically, but also personally as it means I'm now redundant.
The silver lining came in the news of our first Green Councillor for Edinburgh - Alison Johnston in Meadows and Morningside. Having been part of Alison's campaign team this was great news. There was lots of tears and smiles at the glad tidings. It later transpired that Steve Burgess and Maggie Chapman also got in.
I left the count heading for A Bad Week, Part Two feeling exhausted, emotionally drained and uncertain about the future.
Misrepresentation or Manipulation
As Election day draws near the parties are making the final push in persuading voters of their worthiness, but one party is overwhelming with the amount of information they are putting through the letter box. The Lib Dems. Liberal Democrat literature seems to be coming through my door every other day. Edinburgh Cental, you see, is a target ward for the Lib Dems, where they are hoping that Siobhan Mathers can beat sitting MSP Sarah Boyak.
I can understand a certain amount of bias and one-sidedness in promotional material, but dishonesty annoys me. Nestling in the corner of the April 2007 edition of the Lib Dem produced Edinburgh Central News is possibly the worst graph I have ever seen (right hand side). A gross misrepresentation of the actual figures I feel.
At first glance the graph appears to suggest that the Lib Dems are very close behind Labour, with the SNP trailing way behind. Then you look at the numbers. In the 2003 elections Labour got 32% in Edinburgh Central, and the Lib Dems 23%, a difference of 9%. The SNP with 18% were just 5% behind the Lib Dems: So how come this 5% gap is represented as being about five times bigger than a 9% gap?
So time to put these figures into a well know spreadsheet package me thinks...
The graph on the left is a scan of the graph in the Lib Dem produced Edinburgh Central News, on the right is the same figures on a graph drawn to scale. I have also included the axis, and set the graph to start at 10%. The graphs look pretty similar in most respects - the only colum that doesn't is the orange one. In the left hand chart the Lib Dems seems to have been elongated somewhat!
I will be voting green on the Regional List. I still haven't made my mind up about whose getting my constituency vote yet, but I know who isn't getting it; Siobhan Mathers.
